A Pinoy At The Movies: Red Riding Hood

When I first saw its poster displayed on the Sinyongsan Subway Station weeks ago, I became giddy as a child being read to with this fairy tale. Ha-ha-ha! Why? Because I knew then that the film wouldn't be told as a fairy tale at all!


I love these moviemakers who turn fairy tales into movies with a twist. And now, I am loving Warner Bros. for turning the Little Red Riding Hood tale from our childhood into a film with a very 21st century take.


And like the fairy tale, we have this girl at the center of the story who has a grandma, walks through the forest alone and gets bullied by a wolf. In the movie, the girl is sexy teenager, who also has a grandma, and walks alone into the forest not be ambushed by a wolf, but she goes there to hang out with her boyfriend! Ha-ha-ha! How very culturally up-to-date! And if PETA people watch the movie, they might even point out cruelty to animals! Ha-ha-ha! Cruelty to the werewolf, that is. 


And the meanest twist, she's envied by the all the girls because the most handsome hunks in the village want to marry her!  You can just imagine the gossips she gets behind her back. Ha-ha-ha!


Now, why weren't these in the fairy tale I read when I was in kindergarten?! Ha-ha-ha!


And now, the horror twist. There's no big bad wolf, but a mean, huge werewolf!  And that makes it my kind of movie! It's like a Disney movie, Mean Girls, Underworld and Desperate Housewives rolled into one. Desperate Housewives? Well, the wifey has a secret, too! Which makes it very Wisteria Lane-ish! Ha-ha-ha!


Although it's adapted from a fairy tale, I don't think this one's for the kids to watch. The plot became obviously adult-oriented, but boy, I would have enjoyed reading this when I was still in grade school! Shakespeare should have written horror stories, too!


Amanda Seyfried, playing the Red Riding Hood, wasn't that spectacular. The role could have been played by any other young blonde girl walking down Beverly Hills with shopping bags and newly acquired 'enhancements'. Ha-ha-ha!  There were scenes that she looked like Dakota Fanning in her silly role as a blonde vampire in Twilight.


Julie Christie, the big British star of the 1960s and 70s, was the very mysterious grandma, who almost stole the film from under the hood, literally. In all her scenes, she would always drown out everyone else:  the girl, the wolf and even the red, hooded coat, which she made herself. That's why the wolf made sure grandma was....Ooops! I can't tell you what happened, can I? Ha-ha-ha!


I love, love this movie! That made my week last week. And with the imposing performance of Gary Oldman, as a priest, and the presence of the two boys fighting over a girl (one of whom is Jeremy Irons' son), this one is as entertaining as the other movies they're showing now because one or two have won an Oscar.


And there are funny lines in the movie that you wouldn't find in the fairy tale, but some lines borrowed from the story book found its way to the movie, too:


Red Riding Hood: "Grandma, what big teeth you have!"


Grandma: "The better to eat you with!" (I laughed at this scene! Ha-ha-ha!)


Enjoy the movie! And don't forget the popcorn!