A Pinoy At The Movie: EXODUS: Gods and Kings

I could hear the song When You Believe playing in my mind when I was entering the cinema to watch Exodus: Gods and Kings. That song was in the animated movie Prince of Egypt, and was sung by Mariah Carey, when she was still skinny, and Whitney Houston, when she was still alive.

Both movies, Prince of Egypt and Exodus were based on the story of Moses and how he lead the Chosen People out of Egypt. In Prince of Egypt, Moses was a cartoon; in Exodus: Gods and Kings, he was Christian Bale.  And since the year was 1300 BCE, the Batman didn't have his bat mobile yet, nor was he in Gotham City. He was in Memphis, not in Tennessee, but Memphis, an ancient city in Egypt. 

The main reason I wanted to see the movie was to see the special effects. Just like any Catholic, I also read and studied the Bible when I was still in school. As in the case of good books, everyone always wanted to see them made into movies. And this Book of Exodus definitely made everyone look forward to watching it in film.

Although there have been movies based on the stories in the Bible, this one interests me a lot because of its events that were, as they say, of biblical proportions. 

I especially enjoyed the scenes of the ten plagues, not that I have a sudden schadenfreude for the ancient Egyptians, but who doesn't want to see huge Nile River crocodiles with an appetite of a pharaoh eat those fishermen on the Nile, or those frogs croaking up into the pharaoh's bedroom? And those flies and boils! Eeew! The special effects team of this movie made sure those plagues really looked the way I imagined them to be when I first read this scene in the Bible during my grade school days.

And who doesn't look forward to see the parting of the Red Sea? With the troops of Rameses on chariots and horses chasing Moses and his people, it was interesting to see how the sea dried up like it does before a tsunami. But I wondered how they were able to cross it on the wet and sandy sea bed, which seemed bereft of any aquatic life form.

Other than the plagues and the parting of the Red Sea, I also looked forward on how the director would show the scenes between Moses and God, from whom he was taking orders. It turned out, God was in a form of a boy with a strong British accent. It would have been more interesting if they just did away with the boy and instead showed God as a burning bush or some booming voice from above, which only Moses could hear.

As to the other cast, John Turturro, from Transformers' Sector 7, played Seti I and didn't exactly sound and move like a pharaoh. His wife Queen Tuya was played by Sigourney Weaver who had limited spoken lines, but whose eyes were heavily lined just like Elizabeth Taylor's Cleopatra. Of course, we can't compare the two. Elizabeth Taylor had 65 costume changes as Cleopatra. Weaver, here, seemed just to have worn the same white toga in all her scenes, which I think were about three. Or four. I didn't count. 

The biggest letdown was Joel Edgerton, playing Rameses II, the nemesis of Moses. From the first scene, he seemed lost, not in Moses' shadow, but in this role. He didn't look like he wanted to chase Moses through the desert, the mountains and finally, across the dried up sea. Colin Farrell could have played this character better. 

I would recommend this film if only for the special effects of the plagues and the parting of the Red Sea, and also the chase scene on the mountains where Rameses's chariots were snaking through the edge of a cliff. If you also read the Book of Exodus during your grade school days like I did, watching this film would definitely bring back those days. Come to think of it, I couldn't think of any book from the Bible that had more action scenes than the Exodus. 

So, what Bible story will they turn into a movie next? 

#Exodus #exodusmovie #christianbale #sigourneyweaver #Bible #Biblestories #Egypt #TenPlagues #movie #moviereview

A Pinoy At The Movies: NOAH

If only to observe the Lenten season, this movie would have been perfect, I thought. In the Philippines, during the Holy Week, offices are closed and everyone is stuck at home with no TV shows or radio programs, only the Internet and DVD movies.

But I'm not in the Philippines right now, and the closest Lenten type of observance for me is a visit to the Myeongdong Cathedral...and Noah, the movie.

When I first saw the poster and the movie trailer for this movie weeks ago, I was actually excited. I love watching period films and this one, being biblical, was a must-see for me, and I wondered if this one would be better than Steve Carell's Evan Almighty, his 2007 comedy film, which was a take on this biblical story.

Noah started with a narration through animation on how everything began based on the Bible. Starting from The Creation until the time before the Great Flood, I guess, this was to familiarize the audience members who weren't familiar with the Bible stories.

Russel Crowe played Noah and Anthony Hopkins, played Methuselah his grandfather, and the rest of their brood were familiar faces. 

The first actual scenes of the movie seemed philosophical, and not biblical. Industrialization, environmental abuse and immorality. Well, the last one actually was much closer to why it all happened. But whatever details that were lacking in the Bible, the writers squeezed into the movie: Noah and family lived like nomads who wore jackets and pants designed by Zara or H&M , Methuselah lived up a mountain that looked like a Hawaiian island, Noah's kids called their mother 'mommy', a seed from the Garden of Eden could create an Amazon-like jungle overnight, Noah could sing a lullaby, and superbeings called Giants actually built the ark without any educational background on shipbuilding!

While the essence of Noah's story is told in the movie, it's the modernized theme that ruins the film. Watching the film seems like watching Spartacus, Blood and Sand, the TV series about a slave-gladiator, where the dialogues are more American than Roman. I was hoping it was like the Academy Award winning, Gladiator, with first-rate costumes, cinematography and of course, a real Maximus Decimus Meridius. Maybe Noah's story was too primitive to deserve an imperial showcase like Gladiator, although I thought, being story from the Bible, it should have been filmed as such, like The Ten Commandments.

Oh, well.

We all know that the huge ark was actually built to contain a lot of passengers. And in the movie, when the huge ark was finally completed (without any aid of a blueprint!), all the animals that crawled, slithered and flew came to join the cruise. I wonder if there was a veterinarian on board if any of Noah's pets got sick. His wife, played by Jennifer Connelly, sprayed sleep-inducing smoke throughout the ship to put all the animals to sleep. Her concoction must have been the precursor of chloroform.

A few subplots in the film like a village of unruly cannibals who wanted to join the boat ride, Noah's adopted daughter having twins on board the ark after having been magically blessed by Methuselah, and a stowaway 'king' who ate a snake raw to survive added some drama, but these did not redeem it for me. From where I sat at Cinema 2 of CGV Yongsan, the whole ark...sank! Including the whole zoo! Ha-ha-ha!

Unimpressed and still shaking my head, I just treated this whole disappointment for this film as part of my penance for Lent. It's a Bible story horribly told. 

In the meantime, let's just wait for the next Bible story to be turned into a movie. How about The Tower of Babel?